A whole new world

Yesterday, I found out some wonderful news. One of my friends who married about a year ago, is expecting a baby πŸ™‚ Isn’t that wonderful? I couldn’t help but feel extremely thrilled and excited for her.

For the past few months, I’ve been receiving wedding invitations almost every other week. It’s become like a routine for my colleagues to hear me exclaim “Oh my god, my friend’s getting married!!!”

This time my whoop was with a whole different sentence. One of excitement, astonishment and amazement “OH MY GOD MY FRIEND IS PREGNANT!!!!”
Got a whole bunch of laughs from people around the office.. as my boss said “wah..your friends have moved on to a whole different level now”.

Can’t help but share the excitement and joy of baby-news πŸ˜€

Here’s to Eza…may Allah bless you with a healthy and joyous journey through pregnancy and motherhood πŸ™‚

and then a rainbow appeared…

I just read back my previous two posts and thought “my god, how much more whiny can this person be? complaining on and on about work”

LOL

Things have slowed down a little at work, but only just a little. Mind you, it’s 10.15pm on a Monday, and I’m at the office, taking a little breather by blogging away.

Last week I managed to complete an assignment that made my boss happier than I expected, so YAAAYyyy!! Kudos to me, wheeeee!

Slowly things seem to be shifting towards the better. I even feel better!

Last Saturday, I had a whole fun-filled day. I was out from morning till night, being with my friends. I haven’t been out for such a long time that it felt simply splendid.

The day started out with me getting a haircut (oh what joy!!) and then rushing home to meet two friends whom i have not seen for about a quarter of a year, then the three of us went to our ex-colleague’s wedding.

Oh!! must tell you about her wedding…it was simply beautiful! Simple..yet elegant..with a touch of class…and my friend? She was just a stunning angel. SERIOUSLY LAWA!! I mean she and her twin have always been among the sweetest looking people i knew, but there in her wedding kebaya, with her golden tiara, and dangly diamond earrings..and her best accessory of all..her sweet sweet smile.. *sigh*

You can’t help but feel extremely happy as well just by looking at her. And of course, the beaming groom at her side completed the whole picture.

Another thing I loved about her wedding was that nothing was overdone. Everything was just right. Even the rain didn’t manage to spoil the event.

Anyway, moving on, met up with more friends at the wedding, then went to The Curve to meet up with my ex-classmates. While waiting for them, met up with my colleague to get brithday pressie for another colleague.

Then had tea, which was extended to dinner with the girls. Got home at about 10 something, then somehow the lawyer managed to talk me into going out with him and his friends. So out again I went, for about another 2 and a half hours of silly chit-chat and rounds of laughs, and then finally reached home sweet home at half past midnight. FUH!!!

Nothing like a day out with friends to make you feel appreciative of life πŸ™‚

when nothing seems right..

All my life, I’ve always been a laid back sort of person. Whenever people were crazily studying, I attempted to “look” as hardworking..but truth was I could hardly concentrate for more than an hour on books. I’ve always liked studying at my own time, at my own pace. That way, I could absorb more when I actaully feel like it.
Then there were activities. How I love all the school activities!! Sports and clubs and associations. They were my ultimate happy times in school. And between achieving ok results and having the time of my life with side activities..I was a very happy kid..pleased with what she has achieved.

It never bothered me that someone else was getting better grades. Or someone else was getting more awards. Or that someone else was chosen to the state finals. I was just happy that I tried my best and achieved what I did, and simple awed the fact that those other individuals managed to get what they did.

This carried on..all the way to university…I continued to be that sort of person..and happily graduated with not-so-bad grades. Then I got a job…it wasn’t at a super huge company…it wasnt so international or anything like that… it was a school. But I was happy…and I was good at what I did… and I looked highly upon my boss. Other than the fact that I had a crazy tempremental senior who had emotional outbursts every now and then..I was doing great.

So why was it that people looked down upon it so much? Why did my mother have to sneer at the things that I do there, or look at it as if it’s not even a real job? Why did friends make jokes about the place that I work. Why do I hear stuff like “it’s just a school after all” or “alaa, dah kata kerja kat sekolah”. I took it all in stride at first. Laughed it off just like any other day…but when you hear it almost every other day continuously for a year, it finally gets to you… so i left…part of the reason being my psycho senior was causing much grief to my life (hasad dengki dalam manusia..humph) and also because i thought..fine.. since everyone’s saying that this isnt a proper job..i’ll go get a proper job.

So now, I’m at this top company of it’s line..doing work day in and out…working till up to 3 o’clock in the morning…being pressured to excel like mad simply because they saw that I had the potential…pushed to my limit till I simply broke down….. so is everyone happy now..? I have a REAL job.. whatever that means. I’m working with a BIG company. I’m working on LARGE accounts. I’m working LATE nights. I’m dealing with HUGE clients. Is everyone happy? Any new comments??

I’ve grown thinner than I’ve ever been. I look like crap. I earn shit pay. I hate what I’m doing. BUT it IS a REAL JOB after all, RIGHT? So now i’m miserable and unhappy and stressed and depressed and emotionally unstable. But I’ve got the REAL job that everyone keeps telling me to get. And now when they see me physically and mentally exhausted by all this what do they say?? “Kenapa berhenti tempat dulu?”

AAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!

But you know what…I didn’t know why I bothered about what others thought of my job… I should have just ignored them completely. Why did I let other people burst my happy bubble? Maybe the reason why it hurt me most was those who gave the comments were the ones who really mattered to me.

*sigh*

Why can’t I do what makes me happy…? Now that people see me on the verge of mental breakdown (also because I can’t stop babbling about it)…they tell me to look for another job. Great. That’s what I plan to do anyway. Now they’re saying it doesnt matter what the work is as long as I’m happy. Uhuh. Right.

What makes me happy doesnt make them happy. It’s not a REAL JOB.

So what are they saying exactly?

I wonder.

Either way…is everyone happy now?

I’ll stop now. I’m not making any sense.