Ever since I became a mom, my mini family has taken the top spot on my list of priorities. I’d push everything aside in the blink of an eye if my husband or daughter needed my attention. My daughter, especially.
Every parent would concur when I say that the moment you have a child, you develop this unconditional love that continues to grow for your little one and your life pretty much starts to evolve around them.
That goes without saying for me, and to a certain extent, it sometimes can be a little bit unhealthy. See, I rarely go out. Rarely. It’s not that I can’t. I have this AMAZING husband who treats me like a queen. If I were to say that I wanted to go out with my friends, he’d rearrange his schedule or cancel his plans just so that he can watch over Chemps while I take a break.
So, I would make plans to go have tea, or breakfast but at the very last hour, I’d feel the urge to cancel my outing. I’d have this heavy sense of guilt that I’m leaving my daughter behind to have fun and burdening my husband to babysit. Call it separation anxiety, obsessive paranoia or pathetic whining if you want but at the back of my head a whole bunch of “what ifs” will run amok. What if she wants something and no one can understand her? What if she gets hungry and you all forget to feed her? What if she falls and cries for Mommy? What if she looks for me? What what what?!? Luckily for me, my husband always makes the effort to reassure me that it’s fine (or in his words “will you just GO?”).
Last weekend, my darling group of friends arranged for a little get together. I was excited of course. I miss them and while it’s great typing nonsensical crap over our Whatsapp group chat nothing beats the real thing. I confirmed my attendance but again at the last hour, as I walked around a shopping mall with my husband and baby, that guilty cloud floated over my head again.
“What time are you meeting the girls?” he asks.
“Uhm, five. Maybe I’m not going. It’s too far lah. I don’t even know the way” come my excuses, one after another.
My husband just rolled his eyes, and said “Pergi je lah”
So, I dressed up, borrowed my sister’s GPS and headed off to Citta Mall.
I’m glad I did.
I had such an amazing time catching up with my friends. Even if we did only spend roughly two hours with each other, it was enough that we were there sharing stories, eating, and laughing together.
That rainy Sunday afternoon, we celebrated the new year, a birthday, an upcoming engagement and the upcoming birth of a baby.
That rainy Sunday afternoon, I was with friends 🙂