I never thought much of the whole confinement issue. I figured I’d be at home, resting, and spending time with the baby, how bad could that be? Right?

Well, it turns out that it’s more challenging than I thought.

First, the plus points. I enjoy the whole urut, tungku and bathing with boiled herb water part. It’s really refreshing and makes me feel tonnes better. Food isn’t that bad either. I get a bowl of brocolli and carrots a day as part of my daily meal and honestly, I’m thrilled! Two of my favourite vegetables!

Also, I’m slowly getting the hang of the baby stuff too. I now know how to do the diapers, put her onesies on, bathe her etc. Yes, I was absolutely clueless before. See, previously, the husband has been taking care of EVERYTHING. I swear he’s been the best husband EVER! From the very first day our baby was born, he had been taking full charge of all that needs to be done. I was too weak to even handle the baby so he was the one who did the diapers, bathed the baby, picked her up and positioned her on me when the baby needs to be fed, and on top of all that, he took care of me too!

He’s just the best ever, I thank the Big Guy everyday for blessing me with such a wonderful and caring husband.

On the downside of confinement, I faced a bout of hormonal blues. At least, I think that’s what it was. See, I was fine for the first few days, and then I started feeling really down in the dumps. I missed home and my family and I felt absolutely awful and hopeless. The only thing that perked me up daily was when my sister or parents came to visit. I’d look forward to that every day. Thank God my sister makes a point to try and come visit me everyday.

To make matters worse, there’s one particular relative who likes to barge into the room whenever she (the relative, not my sister) visits and just goes on and on and on with negative comments. She just has to question every single thing, from why is the baby sleeping so much to the way the baby drinks milk. Pfft, as if she’d know. Then she has the cheek to call my child a lazy baby because she sleeps so much. Best part is, she said “Ni mesti ikut mak dia, kuat tido”

Utter shock and disbelief clouded my mind at that point. Something that I simply cannot accept because in the entire household, I’M THE ONE WHO WAKES UP FOR BREAKFAST WHEN EVERYONE ELSE WAKES UP IN TIME FOR FREAKIN’ LUNCH!!!!

Then, orang lain kalau tengok baby, geram or sayang, they’d either kiss the baby or give her tiny hugs or pats of affection. Dia tak. Can you believe it she made gestures like she wanted to slap the baby, siap kata lagi “ee, aku lempang nanti”. I swear if she slapped my baby I would have slapped her back silly. I don’t care if she’s sixty. Dah la kutuk anak aku kata pemalas, pastu nak lempang-lempang pulak.

Once, my mom was cuddling Alisha who had dozed off in her arms, and she barged into the room, took a look at the baby and went “oooo.. melampau ni nak tido peluk”. First of all, it’s my mother’s first grandchild and she can cuddle her all she wants. Second of all, IT’S A FREAKING BABY LAH SHE NEEDS TO BE CUDDLED EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE TO KNOW THAT SHE’S LOVED!

Today, I found out that she’s been saying stuff about me behind my back too. There was a family gathering for raya, and someone asked her how’s the baby and how’s the mother coping (since she’s here often, they assume she’d know how I was doing). She answered, “Mak dia ok la dah bapak dia dok buat semua”.

She’s very close to my husband, and in her eyes, the husband can do no wrong. In front of the husband, all the good comments on the baby comes pouring out. “Baik sungguh laa anak hang nih, such a good baby takde meragam takdak apa. Ni baguih cepat pandai cam bapak dia laa, anak bapak dia sunggoh!”

Humph.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not jealous or whatever. I just feel that it’s bloody hipocritic when less than 24 hours ago she was just blabbing all negative comments to me about my daughter. I’m being defensive and I HAVE EVERY RIGHT TO BE.

Now whenever she comes into the room (which she does like she owns the room), I feel nothing but deep boiling anger. Especially since I found out what she said behind my back. That’s just one person. God knows what she’s been saying to other people. Whenever she comes close to the baby, I feel like getting up and taking my child away from all the negative aura she brings with her.

You know, if I was well and strong enough and able to, I would have done every freakin’ thing myself but I have a very supportive husband who is also the father of the child, so I don’t see anything wrong with him helping out. It is very seldom that I get bitter, revengeful and vengeful towards people, but once I do, trust me that the feelings don’t fade away.

I’ve put up with a lot of crap that she’s thrown my way and I’ve had no problems ignoring them and just smiling the hurt away but I WILL NOT let her pour her crap onto my baby.

Yeah, blame it on the hormones. Now, if I happen to sink into post-natal depression, we all know the cause.

12 Comments on Confinement Calamity

  1. omg.. i experienced the same thing. it doesn't goes off for a while my dear. till now i can't forget how that person said such remarks and treating me that bad.. call it post natal depression or whatever, but it did hurt me bad..

  2. same here. sungguh tak percaya dalam dunia ni ada orang yang datang visit baby dengan mulut yang sungguh takda insurance.

    or mine i rasa nak sepak, sebab dia tanya, “apsai baby putih? mak pak tak putih pon?” wtf lah kan. =P

    or when this makcik, masuk2 je tengok baby pastu bukak seluar and pampers my baby nak tgk his balls. apa kessss?? terkedu je i kat situ.

    or orang datang and said, “ko gemok lagi lah,” sambil memegang extra lemak around my tummy.

    or blame me on adam's eczema, sbb i amik epidural. serious rasa nak tendang.

    confinement makes me think twice, no thrice, to get pregnant again. sakit jiwe!

    sabar saje lah kamu, and remember, you know what's best for your little darling alisha. =)

  3. i despice these kind of ppl too. komen orang tak igt dunia, padahal diye sendiri tu bukannye 100% perfect.
    talking behind ur back is also another peeve. i mean, seriously. nk ignore pun susah kan, especially if they're often hanging around u, u might just lose ur nerve sometimes. heh.
    i had the blues too for a while during my confinement. really sucked. sometimes i wish i could relive my days when Dayana was still a litte dot, minus the terrifying blues of course.
    at least ur mister husband was there for u =).
    btw, selamat hari raya liyana!

  4. Holy!

    Urgh, I don't know who she is but there's always one in a family, eh? Just be patient, hon. Yes, you do have every right to be annoyed with that person. You're a gem and she's just being a pain, so take the high road and take no notice of her (easier said than done, I know). Hope you, your beloved and your butterbabe are doing well and are having a good Raya and all.

    Mmwah mmwah!

    Munira

  5. omg li,

    i think i kno who. hang in there, you're doing very well!!!
    i wish and doa kan all the best ok for you, adam and alisha.

    cant wait to see your lil baby!!!

    -marriam-

  6. hmm..could i be guessing the right lady?

    hang in there dear!!! if nk biar die berasap lagi, call me over, i'll brig my props for photo session..ha sure tebeliak die tgk and we just let her penat ckp non-stop while u n Alisha smile at the lense..hihi (mati lar i, if Adam reads this)

    hmm…i guess that's why most moms do their confinement with their parents, so we can be ngada2 and all without anyone saying anything. Our own moms sure layan our kerenah

    how about locking ur room..so she wont just barge in.

    and oh i also do know u as a morning person!

  7. Congrats on the new arrival..

    Sometimes, shit-head appears before us, making life difficult …. just keep your cool, no point getting upset over an antique “rubber” wood furniture…..

    Stay positive, hang on to your strong man! 🙂

  8. Aw, Hun I know what you must feel having mean relatives like that but the only solution is to laugh it off. She's tua and nyanyuk. What to do… Just cling to positivity. Hopefully she'll leave you and cute baby alone eventually.

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